It seems like these little venting sessions are coming more often now. The other night i said on twitter before i went to bed ; "..wondering if it's time to give up my blogging and just go find a job, 'fix' my life, etc..have i wasted the last 2 years??"...I guess i'm just not too sure where this is all going anymore(specifically the review/giveaway blogging)..I've come a long way from the early days of my Christian book reviews and whatever Bzzagent threw my way..but I was doing the dishes tonight and while i was standing there my eldest was practicing piano..and i suddenly recognized the song: Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep'...and it just struck me that I had NO idea she was working on that for piano(how cool of a song?!)..and then it just kept coming at me..how much i am truly missing just sitting here on my rapidly expanding 'bloggers butt' for hours on end, doing tasks for this and that, answering/writing emails, working on my google+ or my twitter or my facebook page or working on the blog design, joining hops, linking up, or spending an hour OR MORE trying to word a review 'just right' for what? do i really care about the token product i get in exchange for all the hours of work I've just spent? I'm just not sure anymore.
I ignored my pile of blogger work today, and I took my girls out to Chapters, and I COOKED. I'd been thinking lately about how I've never had or made potato leek soup, so the mr went out to do the grocery shopping(something i used to love to do!) and he brought me back the leeks I'd been looking for..and it was wonderful. I've missed cooking in all my stress and frustration. Looking for something new, and giving it a try, and praying to god that my kids and the mr will actually eat it and enjoy it.
I guess I'm just realizing that I'm 32 years old, and I have no idea who I am or where the heck I am going in life...and I'm afraid that if I spend anymore time just sitting at my laptop writing about nothing I'm gonna wake up(or not wake up) and find my life over before i even found it. There are so sooo many things that I miss or just want to go try.
Do I make sense here? Am i having a bad go lately and i'm out of my mind? or am I right and it's time to move on? I am just so tired. So tired of the jealousy. So tired of feeling 'behind'. I'm also really tired of the spam and moronic pitches(hey can you do this for NOTHING in exchange?)!!
Please jump in here...HELP.