Sunday, January 15, 2012

yup, another venting session..

It seems like these little venting sessions are coming more often now. The other night i said on twitter before i went to bed ; "..wondering if it's time to give up my blogging and just go find a job, 'fix' my life, etc..have i wasted the last 2 years??"...I guess i'm just not too sure where this is all going anymore(specifically the review/giveaway blogging)..I've come a long way from the early days of my Christian book reviews and whatever Bzzagent threw my way..but I was doing the dishes tonight and while i was standing there my eldest was practicing piano..and i suddenly recognized the song: Adele's 'Rolling in the Deep'...and it just struck me that I had NO idea she was working on that for piano(how cool of a song?!)..and then it just kept coming at me..how much i am truly missing just sitting here on my rapidly expanding 'bloggers butt' for hours on end, doing tasks for this and that, answering/writing emails, working on my google+ or my twitter or my facebook page or working on the blog design, joining hops, linking up,  or spending an hour OR MORE trying to word a review 'just right' for what? do i really care about the token product i get in exchange for all the hours of work I've just spent? I'm just not sure anymore.

I ignored my pile of blogger work today, and I took my girls out to Chapters, and I COOKED. I'd been thinking lately about how I've never had or made potato leek soup, so the mr went out to do the grocery shopping(something i used to love to do!) and he brought me back the leeks I'd been looking for..and it was wonderful. I've missed cooking in all my stress and frustration. Looking for something new, and giving it a try, and praying to god that my kids and the mr will actually eat it and enjoy it.

I guess I'm just realizing that I'm 32 years old, and I have no idea who I am or where the heck I am going in life...and I'm afraid that if I spend anymore time just sitting at my laptop writing about nothing I'm gonna wake up(or not wake up) and find my life over before i even found it. There are so sooo many things that I miss or just want to go try.

Do I make sense here? Am i having a bad go lately and i'm out of my mind? or am I right and it's time to move on? I am just so tired. So tired of the jealousy. So tired of feeling 'behind'. I'm also really tired of the spam and moronic pitches(hey can you do this for NOTHING in exchange?)!!

Please jump in here...HELP.

33 comments:

  1. Well it certainly sounds to me like you are out of balance. Even working out of the home, the family has designated time.

    It's vital to strike a balance with family, work and self time.

    Perhaps if you designate your time dililgently you'll feel better about the time your blog takes and can reassess then.

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  2. It really is out of balance..i have no idea what i'm doing! I'm not sure i know where to start! Maybe just everything in my life in general needs a massive overhaul...

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  3. I am very seldom online t night. I make sure I leave the house and do family time. I think finding balance is key. Most often then deadlines we set are those we put on ourselves. I make an income from my blog so I dedicate certain amount of time to it. But I have 4 kids and a husband so I often need to step back and have family time. Everyone needs to find their groove and find balance. You do what you can and when it becomes overwhelming or stressful , step back and regroup :)

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  4. I guess that's it..my blog is a volunteer position. I don't make money(except those 2 Cbias' i did) and I need to actually make some money..one income isn't doing so well.

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  5. I agree with Kim, family first. The rest will follow. Big hugs, we all get very overwhelmed nowadays. :)

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  6. Making money blogging takes time, I am still not there and have had the same thoughts as you. For me blogging is so much more then money and stuff it's really all about feeling less alone stuck at home with the kids. I like to think blogging helps build a support network for the days when you are just plain done. We all have to do what is best for us. Take a break , regroup and come back if that is what you need. Set rules. Or don't. We will be here for you!

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  7. When Julia from Nugglemama interviewed me last June, this same thing was rolling in my head. I didn't start out blogging for anyone else but my family in BC and then last year started doing reviews. The feeling of being sucked in and having to perform was almost too much to take at times. You'll find your stride, keep your goals in view. Don't say yes to every pitch and don't worry about getting a post up each and every day. Take a break, mark some time off for your offline life. That's a more important world.

    {{hugs}}

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  8. Take a break from your blog. It sounds like you need to get back to basics. If it isn't an income generating position, blogging should be a hobby. Hobby, meaning you do it when you feel inspired. You put time into it when you feel like it. No pressure. No stress. When you are not blogging, you can put your precious energy into your family or things that bring you joy. Good luck!!

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  9. I look at blogging as ,a hobby. Yeah, sometimes I feel badly when I haven't posted a review yet, but really, what's the worst that is gonna happen? I would suggest deciding what you want to do with the blog - career, or hobby? It took me a while to figure out I wasn't in it for fame or fortune, but once I did, life became much more peaceful. I never check on stats, (unless I am asked) I'm not interested in google+, etc. I guarantee that once you figure out what you want out of blogging, you'll become much happier with it. In the meantime sending {{hugs}} your way.

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  10. see I am totally a rabid dog here with my insane quest for better stats..BETTER STATS!!!! Because i don't feel good enough, and keep missing out on all these cool opportunities..

    see i told ya, i drive me crazy!

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  11. I have many thoughts on this matter. We'd have to meet up in person to discuss this.;) I couldn't do it myself. I've seen it done successfully, and other times it just doesn't come off as natural. Maybe you can do both- work outside the home and blog. You already have the following! But I'd rather do it at my own pace. If you get free stuff great, if you don't you probably didn't need it anyway. As far as the blog hops go, do you want people to check out your blog because they're interested, or because they'll ''follow you back?'' I hope you find what you're looking for!

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  12. I feel like that so often, but not about my blog. More so because I wish I could stay home with my kiddos. I put a lot of time in at work. I think it's really important to take time for you and your family. These need to be separate. You need time to yourself so that you have the energy to dedicate to your family and then the blog. I hope you are able to figure out what you want/need so you can find some peace. Hang in there!

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  13. Wanna go for coffee and chat...we haven't done that in a LONG time...let me know :)

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  14. Oh hun... much love and hugs coming your way. I never did my blog to make money... I did my blog to share with the world my frugal, special needs journey and homeschooling ways and no other reason.

    but this isn't about me my friend this is about you... and you need to take a step back.. we need another coffee/tea and a chat. Wednesday looks good for me.. how about you?? Seriously.... although I would have a red head with me. But would love to meet up... and we could talk. Sounds like I could help.

    Many have said .. finding a balance... and that is what you need to do. Sorry I just read your post now.. why?? Because it was the weekend and my family pretty much comes first. :)

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  15. I have been there a few times.. I have debated on changing my name and such.. I love blogging but have had down moments.. I will send you a msg privately we can chat

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  16. (I’m not trying to stir up anything negative, or promote stereotypes or anything like that, but I am offering a potentially controversial thought on the perception of this topic....)

    Consider for a moment: how much different is the idea of "mommy-blogging" from that of "porn for women"? At the risk of over-generalizing, just hear me out on the comparison. Men who have a porn addiction use it to fulfil an area of their life where they often feel inadequate or where they are unsatisfied. They often justify it using thoughts like, “it’s just natural for men to think this way,” or “it helps me be a better lover to my wife,” “it’s just harmless fun” or "I need an outlet at night." They focus their time and energy on a temporary satisfaction that is purely for their own selfish needs and desires, and a result, are distracted from their family life, distracted from their responsibilities to their spouse, their kids, and their family in general. In short, they're more interested in the artificial platitudes of a "celebrity" than they are in the needs and wants of the people in their own home.

    Now consider this over-generalized term I’ve used of “mommy-blogging.” How many stay-at-home moms are actively involved in blogs related to “the big four” of family life: cooking, photography, homeschooling and life management (ie, the “Pioneer Woman Life”)? How many women feel inadequate in that area, and use the blogs as both an outlet and as a method of learning how to “be a better mom”? How many feel the same things I stated above about men: “it’s natural for me to feel this way”, “it helps me be a better mom/wife,” “it’s just harmless fun" or "I need an outlet during the day.”

    When men forget that the best thing they could possibly have in life is a great relationship with their spouse, they tend to think there’s something better, and they turn to porn. They know more about the artificial “likes” and “turn ons” of a woman other than their wife. When women forget that the best thing they can have is a great relationship with their spouse, they tend to think there’s something better and they resort to social media or other social methods. They know more about the lives and activities of other moms, other families, and other relationships than they do about their own.

    Few people would argue against the idea that porn is an unhealthy addiction that has disastrous impacts on family, yet not many people recognize that the same kinds of addictions happen in women, they just manifest in a different form: usually in a social manner that is only exacerbated by social media that makes it faster, easier and more convenient than it was in the past (sounds a lot like online porn, to me).

    Ask yourself a few questions:
    - Do I know more about the family life of a blogger I’ve never met than I do about my own?
    - Could I answer more about what “Mommy Blogger X” did today than what my kids did?
    - Do I know more about the husband of “Mommy Blogger X” than I do about my own husband?
    - Do I know what my kids are studying this week in school?
    - Do I know what my husband did at work this week?
    - Whose stresses am I more familiar with: those of my twitter followers/facebook friends, or those of my spouse?

    The answers to those questions might answer the question you had...

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    Replies
    1. Steve,

      I am a proud mommy blogger and I think you've made some great points. I am not offended by your comment in the least and think you comment is made because you care.

      It is all about balance, like everything in life. You know the saying there is a place for everything and everything has it's place.

      I've met Christy through blogging and for that I'm very thankful. Real friendships are made and she isn't just a name on the screen for me. And, from what I've heard from other girls, what she is going through is a pretty normal rite of passage in the blogging world.

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  17. Sweetie, I am sorry I just read this now, it isn't easy and as Shannon said you can get sucked into it. It is important to find a balance. Step away for few days and enjoy your lovely family, we will all still be here, we aren't going away. {Hugs}

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  18. no need to over analyze or beat yourself up. what's done is done. set some boundaries, some time limits. some goals! it's OK. I'm sure we've all been there at the beginning of our blogs, trying to get them noticed.

    Keep writing for YOU. don't worry about your stats, your readers... worry about YOU {and your family} and no one else.

    deep breaths... you'll be OK.

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  19. I think we've all had moments like that- take deep breaths and give yourself permission to really think about what you want to come out of your blog. Honestly! Figure out the goal and then you can figure out how to get there in a way that won't make you go crazy :)

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  20. For me, life is about family. Try to find a compromise that give you time to do what you love, like cooking and your children. Pick only the items you really want to blog about. You only need to grown at a pace you want to grown at.

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  21. Ooooh! I can relate :) In fact, just yesterday I tried to go "unplugged" and made it a "No Social Media" and FAMILY ONLY day. I lasted until the afternoon. I played with my three year old, and spent time with my husband. It's funny how many little things you miss when you get consumed with other "stuff".

    Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. I am a little fish in a big sea of bloggers and sometimes feel frustrated about not "growing" fast enough. Then I realize that one grows as fast as one needs to or can. Maybe that doesn't really make sense. LOL. I need more sleep.

    Hugs!

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  22. If I didn't ENJOY blogging anymore I would stop - this is not a job for me, but a hobby. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and what your blog "should be"

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  23. Blogging is different for everyone. Some people do it for themselves, some people do it just because they like it and some people do it for the numbers. It is difficult sometimes to get all of your ducks in a row, making sure you make and keep priorities etc and sometimes we all need a break from what we are doing to realize exactly what road we are heading down.

    Try not to be hard on yourself. Your path just might be changing for you and you are seeking some direction. It is normal to have difficulty with this.

    Please know that we are here for you.

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  24. Over the past 5 years of my blogging career, I have not only experienced what you are, but lost connection with real life. Steve is very correct in his statement on the addiction side of things. The blogging becomes an addiction. The networks become an even worse addiction.

    As my children have got older, I have stepped back huge. My blog is our main income, it is my career in reality, but it is nothing without my family. I now set a few hours out of my day to work, and it is never when my children are home. I rarely touch product reviews as they do not usually pay, and take too much effort for not being paid. Sure, I receive something neat, but if I desperately wanted it I'd go buy it instead.

    I'd say, step back. Take a break. If your followers love your blog enough, they'll understand. Your family is #1. I missed a lot because of my online work and taking a step back allowed me to not only enjoy my blog again, but also my family.

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  25. I think we've all hit this road block, it's okay. it can become addicting for sure. try to not to compare what you are doing to what others are doing. find out what you want to do and have time for. we are all different

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  26. I have been blogging for a year and a half and I stayed away from reviews on purpose. First because I had no idea what blogging was about and I wanted to learn as much as I could. Second because I wanted to figure out what kind of blogger I wanted to be.

    Maybe review aren't for you? Maybe you have done and learned what you needed to. I agree with everyone else here that there is balance. Sit down and map out your day, try to make a schedule.

    I am sure you will figure it out and you know for sure that there are so many people here to support you.

    If you need me to sing you Soft Kitty let me know! ;)

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  27. Hugs, my friend! I read your blog to keep up with your life and the cool stuff you are doing with your girls. I just pass by the reviews, and I feel a bit guilty now 'cause you're spending a crazy amount of time on them, but I also skip commercials on tv too. I just want to see the show. So I guess what I'm trying to say is don't stop blogging - because I need it to keep up with you, and I would miss YOU, but if you choose to stop doing reviews and giveaways, I won't miss them,and you can use the time to cook yummy food. :)

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  28. Personally I think it's normal to have your ups & downs with blogging or any job really. I go through highs and lows with mine too! It does take a lot of time! Do you know why you blog? Is it for the money potential or just a hobby? If its the hobby then perhaps you need a little mental break. If its for the money potential then just keep plugging away! I know your kids are older so it's prObably a different challenge. At least mine is in bed by 8. Good luck!

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  29. I hear ya. Sometimes I feel like I'm not working hard enough to grow my blog, other times I feel like it's a waste of time b/c it doesn't generate any real income and just like right now...my 3 y/o is entertaining himself in front of the TV while I'm sitting here on the internet. hmmm, gotta go!

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  30. You've had a lot of great comments and suggestions here, so I won't repeat them. I will say: if you are doing this as a business, then think of it as a real business. Use marketing tools to evaluate: what you're currently doing; the current market (and who else is doing what you're doing); ideas for the future; how to make yourself stand out -- and then work on a marketing plan. Along with this do a financial plan to determine if time you spend + money you spend = profit. Also consider the length of time it takes to actually start making a profit, and how much profit you realistically wish to receive. Good luck!

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  31. You've had a lot of great comments and suggestions here, so I won't repeat them. I will say: if you are doing this as a business, then think of it as a real business. Use marketing tools to evaluate: what you're currently doing; the current market (and who else is doing what you're doing); ideas for the future; how to make yourself stand out -- and then work on a marketing plan. Along with this do a financial plan to determine if time you spend + money you spend = profit. Also consider the length of time it takes to actually start making a profit, and how much profit you realistically wish to receive. Good luck!

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  32. Wow chickie, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Sounds very much like to you need to spend a little less time on-line and a little more time doing something for yourself. As in, your on-line time takes time away from YOU. People will always miss the small things (like Adele on the keys) because of distraction, when YOU are happy with what's going on it makes it all easier to see and enjoy. Be nice to yourself, you deserve it!

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